Oh Him? He's My Splenda Daddy.

BESTIES had a very soft, maybe even flaccid, launch at the AVN Show (Adult Video News) in Las Vegas earlier this year, 2026.

I am sometimes questioned by people: “Why would you launch your brand at a consumer porn show?”

Funny you should ask that…

In order of “cars” on this runaway train of thought:

1. I have a friend who manufactures and sells dildos (don’t you?!), and she was able to get BESTIES hooked up with a highly discounted booth at AVN.

1. BESTIES is a startup. Our financial runway is not infinite, so we like discounts!

2. I live in Southern California, so it’s an easy drive to Las Vegas. We don’t need to pay exorbitant fees to ship signage, etc. I will just load up the back of my car and drive through the desert.

2. I was asked to speak on a panel at AVN as a communications expert, which is/was…hilarious. The PR person in me had doubts about taking a slot on the early morning panel of a convention in Las Vegas, following the opening night after-parties. The audience ended up being about 3 people, 1 of whom started following me on Instagram after my schtick on stage. So I earned a fan that morning.

3. Adult entertainers are actually ridiculously nice people. I have spent the last 20 to 25 years working in Hollywood with “traditional” entertainers and their representatives, and let me tell you, I would choose a room of porn stars over Hollywood agents 10 out of 10 times. Maybe it’s the part of me that craves transparency and wears my heart on my sleeve, because with porn stars, everyone is very clear that you’re getting fucked at the end of the day. I can’t say the same about Hollywood agents.

1. Not only are Porn Stars nice (and this isn’t to say they don’t have their own politics and “beef” with each other, as they are humans, too, after all), but they were so kind to listen to my BESTIES pitch and then put our heart-shaped tablets in their mouths with ZERO hesitation. They even agreed to take photos and posted us to their millions of followers on social media for free! That would never happen with a traditional TV, film, or podcast star. I would have been directed to an agent asking for a sum of money that makes no sense or disregarded completely. I repeat, Porn Stars/Adult Entertainers/Escorts are incredibly nice people. I think they are looked down upon by others who are ultimately jealous that their jobs involve little to no pleasure, right?

4. Maybe my favorite reason…THE PEOPLE WATCHING! Holy shit. If People Watching were an Olympic sport, I would be representing ‘Murica on the All-Star Team. I live for People Watching…I will pay $300 to go to Disneyland just to watch the people. I get to the airport early…just to watch the people. The list goes on and on. I was so busy thinking about logistics and just the (flaccid) launch of BESTIES in general that it didn’t dawn on me until I pulled up to the Virgin Hotel Convention Center, where AVN was taking place, that the people-watching at a consumer-facing porn industry show…in Las Vegas…was going to be epic. A few thoughts/highlights:

1. My tits are smaller than I thought.

2. I wish I were more sexually liberated so I could print money on my own schedule vs. falling into the trap of “normal.”

3. I saw a long line of mostly old men, in single file, like it was Splash Mountain on opening day. My eyes followed the snake of limp bodies, which ultimately wound up at a dominatrix station where the men were getting bent over a leather mommy’s knee and spanked (hard) with a wooden paddle.

1. Immediately followed by my internal thought: “These old men took vacation days for this!”

4. There are so many sex robots…mixed with the ease of chatbots/AI girlfriends…I will be single forever. I can’t compete with these obedient machines!

1. I see a Mannequin 3 movie coming…starring me pretending to be a sex sex robot: “If you can’t tell the difference, does it matter?” (HBO’s Westworld reference…)

Where was I?

Oh yes. So BESTIES launched at AVN and handed out an abundance of samples to the patrons and presenters of the show.

It turns out Adult Entertainers LOVE (!) BESTIES. We have received a lot of feedback that it takes their “performances” to a whole new level. There are so many regulations around sexual enhancement claims, and BESTIES treads carefully there. That said, we have heard rumblings about the physical benefits quite a bit from this community. We also got a 5-star review recently from an everyday civilian who said the same thing about BESTIES + sexual activity. I am genuinely happy for her and appreciate her taking the time to leave such a nice review!

One of the AVN stars who visited the BESTIES booth is called Fawxy Baux (pronounced “Foxy Box.” I thought it was a French pronunciation. I was wrong). She reached out to me recently (months after AVN) to say that she loves BESTIES so much that she wants to be an official ambassador for the brand. She lives in the Pacific Northwest, but she was coming to Southern California for some shoots and wanted to meet up with me to hang and make some content.

I assumed “content” was safe-for-work videos about how much she loves BESTIES, but I wasn’t sure. That didn’t stop me from meeting up with her.

She sent me an address with no other details. Was I going to be the new “pizza delivery guy,” but I was delivering mushrooms, and I am a woman? I am sure if I am walking into a live set for one of her LA “shoots,” they will surely be on a break, right? It’s not like I haven’t seen live sex before…thank you, Red Light District of Amsterdam!

I pull up to a worn high-rise apartment building in Downtown LA. A spot that was once Art Deco and now more…Art Decrepit. There is a gate. This is the part where I am supposed to call her, so I do. She comes down and points me to a parking spot.

The spot is occupied by a Black SUV. How am I supposed to park there?

At that point, a short man with a flattop buzz cut appears from nowhere. This is apparently his Black SUV. He climbs in (and “climb” is the correct word; he was very stumpy, and his SUV is very big for him). He leaves the parking spot so that I may take it, and I assume he is moving his car to an alternative space in the garage.

Fawxy takes me into the GLASS elevator that is on the outside of the building to give me a breathtaking view of the 101 as we ascend, slowly, many floors.

Ding. It’s time to deboard the elevator.

I notice the frayed and stained rug in the hallway, the rusted sconces, the peeling wallpaper. The PR/producer in me (who can be so fucking annoying) thinks about a building makeover show I can pitch to HGTV: “Let’s Go, Deco!” Wait, no. “Deco-RATED.” Yeah, that’s it…

“This is my friend Betty’s apartment. She’s an escort.”

We walk in.

I want to recount this cautiously and carefully because these two women could not be sweeter. They are lovely humans, and I loved spending time with them.

In no particular order:

1. Betty greets me and immediately apologizes that her apartment smells like weed and dogs before saying hello. Her place smelled great, actually.

2. I had to pee after a long drive in, and she had a big lava lamp in her purple-lit bathroom (which was huge, by the way).

3. There was a very, very old dog in the middle of the room. He used to be named after a code word for crack (Betty had a crack phase in her 20s), but she rebranded herself and the dog, who is now just named Goose.

4. They offered me a La Croix.

5. They offered me a bong rip.

6. We took BESTIES together.

7. I got to ask them everything I wanted to know about their industry. Betty is a full-time escort in Los Angeles. Duuuuddde, the stories were amazing.

1. They have men all over the country who send them money remotely, including a high-profile district attorney in Texas. They showed me VIDEOS (!!!) he filmed of himself shoving Betty’s dirty underwear in his mouth. He paid to have her used underwear shipped from California to Texas, and then she told him he had to shove it in his mouth. And he did!

2. Again, the PR person in me was BLOWN AWAY by this district attorney’s willingness to put this on camera and ON THE CLOUD!

3. I actually asked Betty and Fawxy why they think their men are so comfortable with receipts, paper trails, and evidence and was told: “They like the blackmail. They like being shamed. They like being bribed, controlled, and manipulated.”

1. So men want a robot or to be humiliated? Noted, and also…there is no hope for me romantically.

4. I asked Betty if she had ever knocked on a hotel room door and been greeted by a hot “John.” She said, “All the time,” and I was like, “Really?! That many hot guys order escorts?” And I swear, in unison, Betty and Fawxy say, “Their wives don’t give them head.”

5. I asked Betty what happens when she arrives on a “date” and he is repulsive. She told me she still takes the money and just leaves: “What are they going to do, call the cops?!”

But the BEST part. The very, very best part that I can’t stop thinking about from this illuminating afternoon with two incredible women is…

I asked what happened to the guy from the garage. The one with the Black SUV. He moved it so I could park my car, and then he disappeared.

Betty says, “Oh, him? He’s my Splenda Daddy.”

I froze. Did you just say “Splenda. Daddy?”

Betty: “Yes. It’s like a Sugar Daddy, but he’s broke. He’s a Splenda Daddy.”

THIS WHOOPED ME IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS.

SPLENDA DADDY!!!

“What does a Splenda Daddy do?!”

In no particular order…

1. He is broke, but he cares a lot, so he does what he can…

2. Coffee runs for days.

3. Free pet sitting (which, as the owner of 3 senior dogs, I could argue is better than sex).

4. Cleans the apartment. “He got one of those carpet shampoo machines and cleaned my entire apartment.” I wasn’t kidding when I said Betty’s place smelled great!

5. Takes your car to get washed (or washes it himself, depending on where he sits on the “broke” spectrum).

I had to ask Betty: What does he get in return? I didn’t want to assume.

She says, “I have no idea. I haven’t had sex with him in months.”

I try to learn something new every day, and the introduction of “Splenda Daddy” into my vernacular is a 2026 highlight for me. In fact, I think I was married to a Splenda Daddy at one point…I just didn’t know it had a name!

This is just to say, BESTIES aims to shift the conversation around mushroom products away from “counterculture” and towards modern self-care. We are a consumer lifestyle brand, but we still play in niche spaces and are proud to align with all kinds of communities. We do not subscribe to the stigmas around groups of people who are otherwise overlooked by the mainstream.

BESTIES are truly for every person, and launching the brand at a Porn Show in Las Vegas wasn’t on my Bingo card…that community is very, very…sweet.

Xo,

Tess (Co-Founder, BESTIES)